I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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