You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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