doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize