i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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