My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
