That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
