I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
