why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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