how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
