Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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