I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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