Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im holly from the hills drunk
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize