Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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