I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
