Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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