I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
