remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
