do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.