The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background