come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today