You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?