Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
