I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize