Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize