I didn't shave. On purpose
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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