I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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