Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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