yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
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I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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