Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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