Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
