Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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