Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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