forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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