I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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