Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
