who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
cat food counts as protein by the way
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
