Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've blown a few things in my day
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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