i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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