No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
