i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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