The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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