I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
