The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
