A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
