i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize