He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
