last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
