okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
