just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think people are normalizing furries
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