I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
