I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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