Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
