Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize