You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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