I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
