if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
