Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
