I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
