I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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