I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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