is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
