problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize