What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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