I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
