Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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