my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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