she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize