I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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