I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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