i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
